Blog: Dear Mega Church, Cease and Desist

megachurch

Disclaimer: All views contained in this post are purely Marc’s and in no way affiliated with his local church or place of employment. Thank you!

Since the Mega Church became a “thing” I have heard many subtle and not so subtle objections to it. I have taken the liberty of putting these objections into words in the form of a cease and desist letter and a blog post.

While reading this, ask yourself this one question:
Do I agree with this? Why or Why not?

After reading, lets have the talk. Is the mega church Biblical? Why or Why not?

So here is a draft of the cease and desist letter I am in the process of writing to the mega churches across the world.

I mean…seriously…who do they think they are? Starting churches in well populated areas, moving into giant modern buildings, preaching into the neighborhood with advertising campaigns, putting padded seating in their auditoriums…The nerve they have…they don’t even call their sanctuary a sanctuary. They call it an auditorium. Can you believe this? Not biblical. This surprised me until I walked in. Don’t even get me started on the atrocities that take place in this “auditorium.” Gone are the days of the biblical instruments like the piano, organ, and handbells. now when you walk in, your ears and soul are attacked by the worldly sounds of the electric guitar, drums, and worst of all… the electric bass guitar. Instead of worshiping, they have thrown out the hymns, and people are forced to sing along with rock songs. They think this is worship, I can’t even hear myself think about the Lord with all this ruckus. Not to mention the waste of electricity and money on the smoke machines, lasers, and lights that constantly change on and off. Very distracting. Not biblical.

Then the “pastor” gets up and starts talking. It is hard to even call it preaching. First, he asked us to turn to the book of “Revelation” when we all know it’s pronounced Revelations. To follow suit with the rest of this irreverent mockery, he reads the scripture while every person in the auditorium stays seated. Even more shocking, he isn’t even reading from the bible!!! You thought the NIV was bad. Wait until you hear about the ESV. The ESV is not biblical. What followed was a charismatic bundle of nonsense preached from a music stand instead of a pulpit. Did he use the Bible in his talk? Yeah… But was it biblical? Probably not… I mean, just look at this place.

His bible talk concludes with a point about loving others, and a challenge to go directly from the church to a fast food restaurant, and pay for a stranger’s meal. What a waste. I wish the “pastor” would have told them to go directly to a real church and put that money into an offering plate. That way it could be used for the gospel. Who does he even think he is anyway? As if a random act of kindness will cause someone to receive Christ. That’s not biblical.

After I experienced Mega “Church” I decided to spend my day like any other self respecting believer would. I decided to reflect on all the things about this place that aren’t biblical.
Here is a short list:

Helping the poor. Social Justice is a liberal Democrat idea. Not Biblical
Loud music. The Lord should be praised at a respectable volume, in an organized fashion.
Dress code. Two words: sunday BEST
Non-Biblical preaching. I came to learn about the Bible, not how to help the poor.
Size. The church should be no larger than 100 members. Anything larger is unbiblical.
Smoke machines. There is no smoke in the Bible.
ESV (the English Sub-Par Version) Not even the Bible anymore.
Coffee bar. Haven’t you heard of the time Jesus tipped over the tables in the temple?
No pulpit. Without a pulpit, how do you even preach?
TV cameras?!
Movie theater screens. I came to worship the lord, not watch a X rated film!

The reason I am sending this letter is because I feel that these giant “churches” have violated our rights as the true Church of Jesus. They call their buildings Churches, but what takes place inside is not church. There are lights, guitars, democrats, single moms, and young adults who dare walk into the presence of the Lord without shaving their faces. My fear is that they will promote a negative image and cause people to either leave our churches, or decide not to come because they are afraid it will be similar to the mega churches they see on tv. We already have witnessed the negative effects of these churches in our neighborhood. As soon as one popped up, we lost 7 of our young adults. We are deeply saddened, because these people had claimed to know the Lord, but we knew the real truth. One of our deacons saw them all at a liquor stand together, and 2 of them were drinking alcohol. One sunday, they were gone. We later heard that they had started attending the local mega church. Now they will never hear the true gospel, and they are lost for good.

Although we wish for all of these Godless organizations to just close their doors, we realize that the Bible gives us all freedom of religion. All that I am asking is that they change their name from churches to something else. We feel they have stolen the name “church” and re-defined it with a connotation that is effecting our churches negatively.

Leave a Reply